@Pandoras_Can_Opener@mander.xyz avatar

Pandoras_Can_Opener

@Pandoras_Can_Opener@mander.xyz

Autistic, agender, formerly abused child

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Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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True. But I'd also like to see a reduction of seemingly general purpose down voting. There seem to be users who do nothing but down vote everything in sight.

Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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That wasn't my point.

At what age do you think is too old to be living with parents?

Background+rant: I'm in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I'm not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some...

Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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It depends a lot on the situation. My exparents lived with my paternal exgrandparents until I was 8. Completely seperate households tho. Just in the same house.

If theres a partner and kids it's important that everyone negotiates boundaries and communicates well. If it's one household the chores and finances need to be shared in a way that works and so on.

Personally I moved out as early as I could because these people are abusive. I find it awe inspiring that you manage to coexist peacefully when everyone is an adult. If it works for you it works for you. In many cultures living with your parents is normal. I think worrying about what other people think, those that won't pay your rent and don't interact with your family isn't productive. You're the one who has to live with the decisions you make.

Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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Or malice.

Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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Jokes on you. Now you buy twice as much and neither likes it. 😂😂

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP ,
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🤣

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP ,
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Do you also shine the light on the wrong body part? Its the weirdest thing. She also gets chiropractic treatment but her insistence that the warmth has to go to her belly really flabbergasts me.

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP ,
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Oh intresting. Thanks!

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP ,
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Its an infrared lamp. As a fellow chronically ill person I've found accupressure and binaural beats to help with some issues. Wish you as little pain as possible!

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP , (edited )
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Oh dodo understands. She frequently attempts to burn her whiskers because runny nose. Which got massively better since we started infrared. And by now she also understands that it's pain relief. She seeks out warm spots a lot more since this started. 💚

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP ,
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Darn. The jerboa app really is a pain to upload from.

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP ,
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No cat was permanently harmed ;)

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP ,
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Mostly wounded pride I think. They both haven't quite figured out how claws work.

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP ,
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Whether the white one wants it or not. 😂

Pandoras_Can_Opener OP ,
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I keep joking she spent all her skill points on looks.

Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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Mine does that too sometimes. She's a good normal weight but sometimes she sits just weird and looks spherical. It's the weirdest thing.

Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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Telling Alan Rickman to check for pancreatic cancer!

Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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Also german. Somewhat sure it’s about good old Helmut.

Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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Yup that is me sausage is a german thing.

Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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I kind of have fun imagining a kitty being told not to walk there. And being a kitty, they immediately walked there.

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  • Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Does anyone known the average lifespan of cats who only walk on a leash? Thats what we do and dodo is a very sedate cat. (Heart issues and some sort of mobility disease currently in diagnosis will do that I suppose.)

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    It’s not what it looks like!

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    I wonder when they will forget their resolve to never do this again and come home like this again.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    You did way to much at once. It took me almost a year to train her. I started with just pulling the harness over the head. On and off. For some cats you need to start even slower and just give treats while they see the harness. (Or figure out what kind of things count as a reward for them, not all are treat motivated.) Eventually when the first step worked well I put on the full harness. Lots of treats and a few seconds then minutes until it’s off again. Gradually lengthen it until she wore it indoors with no complaints for like an hour or two.

    Second training thing done in the same time frame was get her used to her backpack. It’s a pet carrier that magically was always full of treats initially. Eventually she had to go fully inside to get them. Them I zipped it close briefly for the first time. Eventually we graduated to her sitting (without a harness) in the closed carrier hidden in my flat while my front door was open. Over the following weeks o moved the carrier closer and closer to the door until we sat on our doorstep together. Then I trained lifting the carrier up and carrying her around indoors. Eventually I carried her outside without a harness onto the grass patch in front of where we live. We stayed 10 minutes and she spent the next two weeks mostly asleep digesting all the new sights, smells and sounds. Eventually she told me she wanted out so the next outdoor after that was with harness and leash.

    Throughout the process you need to watch your cat closely. They are not an “it”, they have fears and insecurities that you need to account for and go slower for. They like routine and don’t care much about pleasing you. Dogs do, that’s why it’s much easier with them. For a cat you need to earn your right to walk beside her. Let them know you hear their complaints and work to alleviate them. That builds the trust you will need outdoors.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Good for the cats, the fish and you. 🙂

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Mine was approximately 5 and clearly had terrible experiences with humans before I got her from the shelter. It took nearly a year but we got there. Patience, empathy, trying new things when stuff doesn’t work, most of all going at her pace.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    We both are each others emotional support animal. 💚

    Reddit became hypersensitive... goodbye

    After 10 years and a few hundred thousand karma made a comment in r/europe that got me banned… in a discussion about AfD (a far, far right German party that has neo-Nazis as members) I made the mistake of saying “Guess we didn’t drop enough bombs on Dresden” (since much of the support for AfD is from the east)… got...

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Do me a favour and look up western voting share for AfD. Yes it’s more frequent in the east but to pretend it’s only there… I mean there’s a lot wrong with what you said but that’s the very obvious one.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Our two Siamese mix (ages ago) had a very fixed time for outdoor walks. Once a day 3 pm, they could stay out as long as they wanted but once they were inside, they were inside. Next walk is next day 3 pm, deal with it buddy. Siamese are very talkative so that routine really helped. They knew the next walk would be at that time no matter their protests.

    My own cat tends to overvocalise at sunrise. She thinks 5 am is a good time to be fed. I ignore her too and eventually tell her no. She does not like to admit it but she does know what “no” means. Sometimes I’ll push her away from me. She eventually grts the message and stops for a while and a few weeks later she gets the bright idea that she could tell the two legger at 5 am that she is hungry…

    It’s really good to figure out why your cat has so much to say, usually something can be done about it.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener , (edited )
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    Healthcare, electoral college, how supreme court justices are elected, first past the post voting system.

    Edit: and the self assurance to nitpick a foreigner over the details of how justices come into their job.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    That sounds like slang term for a boger.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    I’m autistic, depending on how intense sensory issues are that day: sunglasses, noise canceling headphones, stim toys and if it’s really bad a teddy bear.

    I’m also the one idiot who still wears a mask. In full gear I’m quite the sight.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Thanks!

    Its a pair of really big glasses that I can slide down my nose a little and still have the glasses cover my field of vision.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    If you happen to be a lion watch out for your emanciated brother with a scar talking to hyenas too.

    Reddit Activity Plummeted After The Protests - by Adam Bumas (www.garbageday.email)

    Last month marked the official end of the Reddit protests. Any subreddit that had changed its rules or gone dark — or forced its users to post exclusively about John Oliver — has now gone back to normal. On the surface, it seems like a complete victory for Reddit, but things aren’t so simple when a major element of that...

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Probably got threatened with removal behind the scenes?

    Pandoras_Can_Opener , (edited )
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    Most of the things in this thread about claws, the vet and medication dodo already understands. I’d tell her that I’d want her to have a different meow for when she’s in pain and tell me where/what hurts as good as she can. Also that she’s my emotional support animal just as much as she is mine, that she changed my life for the better, that I’m happy when she plays and that she is a good kitty and my most important person. She knows the last things but has trouble accepting them, I’d hope telling her with words she understands would help it along.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Wearing gender non conforming clothes (turns out I’m non binary, so I doubled down), not wanting to be around ex family (also doubled down), not wanting kids (cats don’t count right? ❤️), being a nerd.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Thankfully tho cats don’t come with all the things I dislike about human children. ❤️❤️❤️

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Adopting a cat. I don’t know how I managed to live without her.

    Getting a social worker.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Dodo isn’t even all that bratty. She has her own baggage. We just fit together well.

    And seriously the social worker! Without them I wouldn’t have moved, I wouldn’t have household help for being chronically ill and currently they are fighting tooth and nail to get my name legally changed. Among with all the other everyday red tape germany is so fond of. And there’s still loads more to address eventually.

    Pandoras_Can_Opener ,
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    Not about DID specifically but for cPTSD I found the writings of Pete Walker and Judith Herman very illuminating.

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